Posts tagged “worst

Cul de Sac – One of the best burgers in HK? Bo****ks.

Review:

And whilst I’m on the subject of the pustulating canker on the arse-end of Lan Kwai Fong that is Rat Alley – why, oh why do so many usually sane people keep telling me that Cul de Sac serves one of the best burgers in town? And that their poutine is a revelation?

After so much insistence I did try both once and, in bamboozled exasperation, I had to inform the poor mite who had dragged me there that the burger was quite possibly the worst I’d had to endure since a pit-stop at a burger-van on the A14 outside Kettering nearly 20 years ago.

Thin, grey, mealy and tasteless – both burger and bun.

And well, the poutine was just a flabby, greasy mess.

Next time you throw caution to the wind and indulge in so many jelly shots at Al’s Diner that at 2am you are actually peeing green and finding it difficult to focus, just pop to the 7/11 or the kebab shop for your fix, instead of drunkenly insisting to your cohorts they are about to experience an awesome taste sensation if they will only accompany you round the corner and up the hill instead.

Get a grip. You are wrong.

Code Sharing Disaster – Worst Airline Meal?

Now I have to make plain from the outset that this post is not about a recent airplane meal.  It was over a year ago that this occurred, but as I was going through some photos this made me howl with laughter again, so thought I’d share.

The pictures were taken on a Cathay Pacific code-share flight with Vietnam Airlines, and this was my and my friend’s lunches:

Worst airline meal?

Worst airline meal?

How do you embed carrots into the flesh of meat?

How do you embed carrots into the flesh of meat?

These appetising hunks of flesh were served to us covered in gravy but fortunately I spotted the strange sight of carrots embedded in one piece of meat and, like archaeologists, we went on to discover artefacts of breathtaking fascination.

Note the masses of congealed blood as well as the multi-various tubing and great insulations of fat and connective tissue – not what you expect on any international airline, and certainly not a partner of CX.

The best thing about this meal was that it kept myself and my friend in almost pant-wetting hilarity throughout the flight, not least when my friend pressed down on a piece of meat with her fork and gravy spurted out one of the tubes, slapping her wetly in the face.

Happy Days.

p.s. If anyone has better photos of a bad airline meal, I would love to see them – please let me know!

Dakota Prime/Opus Grill – same sorry restaurant?

Update 21.5.10:  Hmm, just come across a new opening “Opus Grill” which is in exactly the same location as Dakota Prime. Does this mean purely a new name and a bit of a redesign, with the same sorry service and management or something wholly different? If anyone knows, do please drop a comment by, I’d love to know that’s it’s gone tits up for all the reasons I gave below. It certainly didn’t get into the Michelin or Miele guides, so maybe they have decided on a rethink and rebrand…

Review:

Never publicly state your intention to be a Michelin starred restaurant and then provide the worst table service in the whole of Hong Kong. Dakota is a pretty new (opened late winter 2009) steak restaurant slap bang in the middle of Lan Kwai Fong, charging bull market prices.

Is this in fact Cova Coffee?
Is this in fact Cova Coffee?

This is quite possibly one of the most overpriced meals I’ve ever partooken in. There are many ways to review a restaurant, I think the most pertinent for Dakota is by timeline.

Consider:

7:30-7:33 Arrive at restaurant, seated promptly, given a cocktail and wine list.  Look about, decide it’s got all the ambience of an upscale mall restaurant – in fact now I think about it, it’s very Cova Coffee…

7:33-8:00 Catch-up with friends as we haven’t seen them for ages, and finally realise that no-one’s been over to ask us what we want to drink, nor have they brought us a food menu. Peruse wine list and laugh heartily about the preposterous and try-hard selection.

8:00 Catch waiter’s eye. Waiter comes over. Order a cocktail each and ask for the menu.

8:04 Menus arrive.

8:15 Haul waiter over to ask where the drinks are and tell him we are ready to order. He tells us he is only a drinks waiter so we have to wait for a food waiter.

8:25 Haul waiter over again to ask where our drinks are and that we still haven’t had our food order taken.

8:33 Drinks arrive.

8:45 The right waiter comes to take our food order – over an hour after we had arrived. Out of 4 diners, only 2 order a starter.

9:10 Starters arrive.  We order a bottle of wine.

9:13 Amuse bouche arrives for all of us (after the starters…?)

9:15 Bread basket arrives (after the starters and the amuse bouche…?)

9:30 Finish starters

10:00 3 main courses arrive

10:05 Last main course arrives.

Leave restaurant at 10:50 after main courses to go somewhere else for coffee and dessert!

7:30 to 10:50 to get through one aperitif, starters and a main course? With the pleasure of paying HK$1000 per head? Never again. You deserve to go bankrupt you incompetent, arrogant fools.

Outrageously overpriced for what it is.  You would go to the Mandarin Grill or the Intercon in a heartbeat over this place, and receive fantastic service in better surroundings.  Hell, I’d go to the Gallery in Lantau and have a good steak for a fraction of the cost.

Makes my blood boil again thinking about it.

One concession – the morel mushroom sauce was very tasty.